What Other People Are Saying

Although I try to forget, I can never forget the moment of the announcement of my illness. The instant self reproaches and questions: Why me? What did I do wrong? I tried to live a healthy life, so how could I be the one to end up with this fate? I lost totally my peace of mind. All that inner strength that I had developed through the process of maturing was gone. Ironically, in a roundabout way, I found some peace by stumbling on a basic fact: No one knows when and in what form death will come. It follows no logic. So I could be very ill and nonetheless survive all those around me. Thus my concern had to be what to do with the rest of my life and not how long it would be!

If I had little time to live, I had to reassess my life and think of those things I had done that were truly transcendental. And I couldn't think of anything else but of how much time I had actually given to those I love. I felt as if I had wasted so much time. I saw the fallacy of the so-called "quality time" (practically-speaking translated as "little time") when I could see clearly that what was important was just spending "time" with my loved ones. Plain and simple presence! Just being there at the ordinary moments of their lives.

The experience of having brain cancer was for me like living through the experience of the death-row convict who awaits the consummation of his death sentence. But unlike him, the moment of death was not established. The waiting was every day and every moment of the day without knowing when it would actually happen. I look back on those days with dread. Yet, I must accept, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. Through that experience I discovered the true meaning of life. So much that now, it is difficult to express what it did for me. Now every moment of life is precious.

Honesty is in order. I did not go for a tumor operation or chemotherapy purely based on fear, nothing else! I had two friends who died of brain cancer. I couldn't see myself going through the same experience as they did. Both similar cases, they went for brain surgery and chemotherapy shortly after being told they had brain cancer. And with both that was the last time I spoke with them; they died shortly after as "vegetables." I chose to live "whole" even if it was for a short time.

Under the stress of the "unknown" deadline, I programmed myself to learn as much as I could about everything and anything to do with life or the lack of it. If I was not willing to follow the standard allopathic method then I had to look at alternative healing approaches. I know it sounds obvious and foolish to say it, but it was through this quest that I discovered how much we are an integral part of nature. I understood for the first time that by our attitude of seeing ourselves as the centre of the universe rather than part of it, we ignore on a daily basis the simple rules of nature.

I was one of those who always had energy to spare. I could sleep little and eat poor food and the energy was still there. So I grew up thinking of myself as "invincible." Anything bad would happen to others but not me. In other words, I refused to accept that the laws of nature applied to me as well.

And as I turned the pages of basic discovery in the book of nature, I began to understand some of these basic facts:

There is nothing in nature that is out of place or that doesn't have a proper function or role. Whether it is a weed or a micro organism that we call "inconsequential," it only means that we do not yet understand their role and function, not that they do not have one.

Everything in nature, or the universe for that matter, is in a constant balancing act. In the same manner that supernovas live and die; or the tectonic plates of the earth crush against each other to ease pressure; the immune system keeps a balance in the body. And to my astonishment I found that the very same healing systems in all living organisms, including ourselves, becomes the destructive mechanism once the inner balance has been thrown too far out of centre. Why, for example, does the same body that keeps us in perfect homeostasis in front of innumerable threats (including cancerous cells from the time we are babies) develop the blood irrigation system for the tumor that can kill us?

Everything in nature has its cycles and rhythms and they cannot be cheated. We must grow, develop, reproduce, age and die. So what we have been calling "anti-aging" is more like "proper aging" instead. Due to the increasing number of toxic and oxidizing materials in our environment coupled with poor diets, we are actually "hyper-aging."

We are what we eat. This I had heard all along. However, it took this focused learning experience to discover to what extent this is true. For example, the role of selenium or chromium, though in incredibly small amounts, can have in our overall health. The relationship between minerals and vitamins. It was sad to find out that with many foods, such as grains and oils, the main nutritional elements are removed to please us with external characteristics. All my life I heard the advice: "you must eat a balanced diet." Yet I never took the time to learn exactly what that meant. I used to think, "So what is the big deal?" Now that I can see better, have less pains or aches, and feel better than I did 10 years ago, I know what that means! If we all eat clean nutrition-dense foods, we will all know what that means.

I discovered the role of oxygen as a life giver. Too long of a list to be mentioned here.

The life chain between soil, plants, animals and people cannot be broken nor affected negatively. To have poor and toxic soils means people with poor health. There is no alternative to this equation.

I thought medicine and biology a science but that emotions and spiritual development a non-science. I came to understand the direct relationship between our emotions and spiritual balance and how they directly relate to some basic bio-chemical body functions such as beta-endorphins, hormones and oxygen use.

And then I started to understand the above factors against the backdrop of our humanness: We are the centre of the universe. Our "scientific lens" is big enough to totally comprehend and decipher nature. We can behave against nature because we can find the "miracle cure" or the "fountain of youth." We can reproduce the healing gifts of nature, such as those in medicinal herbs and have all the personal gain ahead of the common good and environmental balance.

The end result of all the above is that somewhere throughout my search and desire to live, I found myself clear of the cancer that was threatening my life. I do not know exactly which therapy; food, herb or practice actually healed me. What I do know is that by combining at least some of the ingredients expertly expressed in the book "A Self-Help Support Program For Cancer Patients, Family, Friends and Care Givers." by Dr. Jacob Swilling I found the balance I had lost.

This book represents the respectful attitude of Dr. Jacob towards nature and human discovery through science. It integrates human experience in healing without preference to a school of thought, approach or system. It gives priority to alleviation of human suffering rather than the interests of those who are in the business of healing.

It is my sincere desire that those who get to read this book will be spared from the experience I went through. I do hope that the integrated knowledge Dr. Jacob Swilling puts forward in these pages will bring fullness in your lives.

Rafael Legaria